A History of HEC (John L. Keck)

God moves in all our lives. Most often it is only when we stop and look back over events and changes in our lives, that we begin to recognize those movements, and allow that they might be the results of something other than our own efforts. HEC came into being because of God moving years earlier. We had passed the days when obvious color differences were a cause for legal separation of peoples into inferior and superior, but had not yet moved into an understanding of valuing the seemingly useless. That was our world in the 1960’s. Indeed, we thought ourselves progressive.

In the summer of 1956, a telephone call about a summer job, for believers, might have been made by the hand of God. The recipient of that call was an all too typical teen age boy eager to make money. The call was from one of his former teachers asking if he would like a summer job. The response was “How much?”. Twenty-five a week plus room an board was enough to tempt the boy into leaving his $.25 per hour car-hop job, and say “yes” to the big money.

Only after arrival at this camp did he really understand that it would be a camp for Crippled Children. Twenty minutes after beginning work, he was in love. In love with the kids, the situation, his coworkers, and life. This job brought him life – in a richer, fuller way than he had ever known it. It was from friends at this job that the possibilities of attending college first entered the realm of reality in the young man’s life. A friend there, at camp, helped him get a scholarship – a grant covering books and tuition. The children of the camp provided the major. He realized that if he went to school, he could finish in time to help some of the very kids he had come to know – as people in trouble, not as poor “crippled things”. So off to college – a wondrous awakening to difference. A place where being himself was not only all right, but some folks even celebrated it. Could it have been God saying “What I make – all of it -is good!”?

After college, a job. Not with the kids from camp, but with other kids. Kids in St. Louis. A special school, kids divided by disability and educated for the convenience of the professionals separately from other children. He was hot stuff, a professional. Marriage followed, and he was going to live life like all the “normal folks” – children, a yard, a house, insurance etc.. Then life’s hurts. A divorce. Feeling again, like he did not belong. That he not only had made terrible mistakes, but that the life he so yearned for was beyond his grasp.

In desperation, He took the geographic cure, and moved to the east coast. In order to be accepted, he joined and became extremely active in a parish church. CCD, lector, right hand man to the priest, but always busy. Friends, respect in the community. lots of activity. Good stuff for one who was determined to “do” rather than to think. A place where one’s pride was not assailable. Get close, but not too close. Dance the dance of life with enough room between you and anyone else so as not to be hurt again. Work for God – get good notices from the folks, but never get too close to even God so that hurt would be possible again. A nice numb life.

An accident on the playground at work brought the whole question back to life – was what he did so important, or was who he was of value too? Years of recovery followed.

Days, weeks, and months of wallowing in self-pity, finally having enough relationship with God to vent anger. A screaming accusal of God. Why did you make me? Why am I here? Why don’t I fit into this world? The young man hated being so different, so useless.

Then a call (1971) to help out on a new retreat for Teenagers. TEC – Teens Encounter Christ. He went to be busy again, but there was enough relationship with God that indeed during that retreat, he heard loud and clear “God loves you as you are”. What fanciful and nurturing words! The young man was almost overwhelmed with the realization. Then the thought (God again?) – “If I have had all these chances at life, and I still doubt my worth when I have some trouble, what about those kids at camp. How must they feel – always different, always shut out” “Surely God speaks of them too when he ‘loves us as we are!'”

So, trying to believe his own worth, and at the same time wanting this truly good news to be shared with those who have been separated for their whole life, the young man approached the TEC Council with an idea. How about bringing together 15 able-bodied teenagers and 15 disabled teens, do a couple of minutes about physical care, and then have a retreat together. The idea was met with resounding fear from the council. “We would have to have medical staff present”. “They’re not sick, just different”. “The teenagers might be too afraid.” “They need to face that fear, and get over it”. The idea was taken under advisement.

By 1973 the young man had decided to be ready for the possibility of doing the combined retreat, so a team was assembled. A small team of adults who would guide the teenagers. The young man was persistent, and finally the Council agreed that this might be a possibility, if there was input from the Council, and if the retreat was primarily for the disabled and able-bodied folks volunteered to help.

The young man had learned from experience after experience that those who were “helpers” felt themselves in control, and indeed were powerful; while those being “helped” were in a position of being grateful, and were, in fact, quite powerless. But, it meant the difference between possibly sharing that Good News, or not sharing.

The original team (mostly the young man’s friends) was supplemented by some other folks, and in early January, 1974 team meetings began to take place. The concerns of the Council were concerns of control. The young man felt that at least one change in the schedule was necessary – that change – to include one talk about Being Handicapped – to face the issue head-on.

A member of the TEC council, Diane Marafiotti was selected to represent the Council.

A Sister, Nancy Mehlem, was enlisted because of her expertise with disability. The young man, John Keck was part of the directing team, and a Priest, John Saltzman was selected to give spiritual direction. The four folks met a few times, and set up team meetings (never a strength for John Saltzman), and the actual planning began in earnest.

On April 22, 1974 after 18 months of planning, the first HECers gathered at Mary Immaculate School in Ossining, NY for the first HEC. The team had been working to re-arrange and make the building as accessible as possible from Wednesday evening April 19th. Ramps had to be made. A divider had to be constructed so that a dining area was made in the meeting room. Tables were painted. Lots of work and lots of prayer! At the last minute the cook had to drop out. A call went out and Don Howard, then an officer of West Point, was able at the last minute to get the National Guard to prepare meals for us. Jeeps, Walkie-talkie’s, and uniformed folks were also on the scene.

Sixty-two folks (besides the National Guard) gathered for the first HEC. Many blind students as well as physically different folks gathered with the “team”, and together we experienced the first HEC. What a God-filled weekend! It was apparent that we would need to do more retreats. The need was so apparent – the yearning for the good news was so present. Folks like Bill Reilly, Walter Johnson, and Melrose Buanaura really caught fire with the ideas presented. By the end of the first weekend, we had established the only really permanent feature of HEC – a waiting list for the next retreat. That list has remained a constant since 1974.

Always the question, “Are we doing the right thing?”. A wise John Saltzman helped us by reminding us that if we were indeed doing something that was of God, it would last. If not of God, it would die on its own.

God was as always amazing! Gathered in that room for HEC one, were the seeds of growth. And grow we did.

Our relationship with the TEC Council, at best always strained, was soon a major difficulty. It was becoming more and more apparent that HEC needed to go its own way – separate from the TEC movement. The separation came with a meeting of the TEC Council in November, 1974. Marty Rogers described the meeting as a baseball game in which John was the ball. It was decided that we go our separate ways.

A friend of John Saltzman, Pat Colfer had joined us from Washington DC for HEC #1. Soon she was bringing folks with her to the HECs in New York and HEC came to Washington. Don Howard and his wife Sara were transferred to Tucson, AZ. HEC spread there. Shawn Tracy was transferred to Villanova, and Philly HEC soon was to be a reality. Nancy Mehlem moved to Boston to work on her doctorate, and so Boston became a reality. All of these folks gathered in rooms for those first HECs – what wonderful plans God had for us! And we didn’t know it.

Soon after the break between TEC and HEC, Pat Colfer, Francine Nolin (Rogers), and John sat down and revamped the schedule which became essentially the schedule that we still use in New York. The process was certainly spirit filled. We ask ourselves what was essential – what we needed to cover, and the question “Why” was ever-present in those discussions. An extra half day was added because of the needs as we saw them, and the three and 1/2 day schedule was born.

After seven HEC’s, we added another level of retreat – the HEC for HECers, which moved us beyond the initial Good News that we were loved, and into our response to that love. Pat Colfer and John worked through that schedule. It wasn’t tightly knit, but rather grew as it happened. During the talk on “Being a Sinner” at a HEC for HECers, we were still worried about just what the reaction might be. The forgiveness liturgical experience with questions and abundant water came to be. We still use it.

The struggle between our own wills and the will of God seems ever present with HEC.

We continue to struggle, we continue to be poor and dependent. That struggle has enfleshed over the years: a Mission Statement for New York HEC; Principles of HEC; Goals of HEC; and Signs of a God-Centered HEC Community. (All included in the appendix.)

We look for the day when HEC’s will no longer be necessary. The day when all retreats will be open to all people. The day when those different from the usual are valued and included in the general population as equal members. That day has not yet come, but we still hope.

At present, a second generation of HECers has emerged (Mostly thanks to Jim Malone), and soon the reigns of leadership will be passed on to those who have come to us later and who are young and energetic and spirit filled. May God be with them, as he has been with us.